


The Camera’s Off

by princelogical



Series: Queerplatonic Logince Verse [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Logan tries to be reassuring, Queerplatonic Relationships, Roman lowkey hates almost everything he does
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 23:35:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13891503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princelogical/pseuds/princelogical
Summary: “Did my comment about pleasing the audience upset you yesterday, Roman?” Logan asks.“A little,” Roman admits. “But I’m over it.”A lump grows in Logan’s throat as he realises Roman is lying to him. “I am… truly sorry for upsetting you. I was only trying to add logic to the situation. Everyone was getting too caught up in their emotions.”“Yeah. Sorry for myemotions. I know those are sohard for you to understand,” Roman says and there’s an edge to the tone; Logan feels like he’s sitting on a piece of driftwood, gripping the pillows so tightly so that he won’t fall off into the water. He’s messing this all up.





	The Camera’s Off

Logan awakes to the sun shining through a window in Roman’s room; it casts a hazy light over to the canopy bed that Logan lies in. Roman snores delicately, nose and lips squished against the pillows as little puffs of warm air hit Logan’s hair. Logan’s still not quite used to the arm flung around his hips or the alarm sounding in the corner that’s sounds are analogous to that of a bird chirping.

As odd or unused to it as Logan might be, he still relishes the warm and hazy peace. Reality isn’t as sharp in Roman’s room. His thoughts aren’t as loud here; he feels like confidence is a natural part of him here. Roman shifts and shuts off the alarm. Logan should say something benevolent that will allow Roman to understand his appreciation for his company, for his affections, for his… love. For everything.

Instead, all that comes out is, “Your breath is horrendous.”

Roman groans and stretches; Logan winces at the sound of his back popping as he relaxes back into the pillows and returns Logan’s scowl with a bright and sunny smile. “Buddy, if you think yours is any better, I got some news for you.”

“Do you know why one’s breath is less appealing in the morning than at other times among the day?”

Roman blinks tiredly at Logan. “No. Why?”

“Odor-causing bacteria accumulates between your teeth and on your tongue throughout the night, especially if you’re a mouth-breather. Like you.”

Roman rolls his eyes. “I’m not too bad.”

“Your snoring kept me up half the night.” Which, well, that’s a hyperbole, however, Logan finds that this light teasing in the morning makes him and Roman both feel lighter somehow.

“At least I don’t droll.”

“I do not _droll_!”

Roman sits up, tossing aside the covers with a laugh. “Whatever helps you sleep at night,” he says in a sing-song tone.

Logan puts on his glasses from the bedside table and looks out the window and notices, with a small frown, that the sun isn’t quite as bright as usual. It’s obstructed by faintly dark-grey storm clouds. He glances over to Roman who’s busy tugging on his usual princely attire.

“Roman, may I ask you a question?”

“Hm?” Roman asks, grabbing a comb and setting to work on his hair in the mirror.

“Are you feeling all right today?”

“Mhm.” Roman appears distracted as he works unrewardingly at a stray clump of hair that won’t arrange in the same pattern as the rest of his hair.

“Why the storm clouds?” Logan asks.

“Just felt like a change of scenery, I guess.”

“Are you sure that is all?”

Roman finally looks up with a frown, meeting Logan’s eyes from where he sits on the edge of the bed. Roman puts on a reassuring smile and sets aside his comb. “I might be a little extra tired today.”

“Perhaps you should try to take a nap at some point today,” Logan suggests, staring at his fingers and hoping Roman won’t feel offended by the suggestion; he knows neither he nor Roman really like being ordered around.

“Probably a good idea,” Roman says. “We should hurry or everyone’s gonna accuse us of being late for filming.”

“I make sure we are always punctual; that is not going to change today,” Logan says.

Roman laughs and adjusts his sash in the mirror. “What would I do without you?”

“Survive,” Logan answers automatically because that’s the logical answer, isn’t it? Neither of them would _die_ without each other. It would just be… sad. Perhaps. Logan notices the drop in Roman’s smile at the word and he feels awful because he’s so bad at this and Roman’s so good at it. He’s not sure how to reassure people with anything but logic; he’s useless at comfort or-

“Stop thinking, would you? You’re making _my_ own brain hurt,” Roman says and Logan wonders if the drop in his smile was his imagination because Roman is smiling as bright as ever.

“My apologies,” Logan says as he rises and makes his way to Roman’s dresser where he knows several of his items of clothing are stored. He grabs his usual clothing choice for a Sanders Sides video and begins changing, slower than usual. He studies the storm clouds and finds himself wondering if they’re really just a result of Roman being tired. Because they seem to progressively grow darker as he slowly tugs his pants over his legs and tightens his tie against his collar.

“You’re running awfully slow today, Calculator Watch,” Roman says. “I just might beat you at getting ready for once.”

Logan’s competitive nature flares. “I will not allow that to happen.”

He speeds his routine up and still yet, Roman’s finishes first; Logan makes him swear to never bring it up.

-8-

“Listen- I’m sorry, I’m just gonna say it,” Virgil begins with a sigh. “This idea feels… lazy.”

Logan remains stoic but glances at Roman whose jaw is just a little too tight for things to appear normal.

“Lazy?” Roman asks.

Virgil looks nervous and picks at a hangnail. “It’s not bad. I just don’t think the viewers will like it.”

“But isn’t having fun making it equally as important as the viewers enjoying it?” Patton asks, shooting Roman a reassuring grin.

“Well,” Logan cuts in and Roman’s head jerks up to look at him; Logan purposefully avoids his gaze, “it is important to enjoy what you make, however, you must take your audience into account.”

“Exactly,” Virgil says. “What if they all hate it and everyone unsubscribes and everyone hates us and we lose our job and Thomas becomes homeless-”

“Enough,” Logan cuts in with a sigh. “You are thinking in extremes. Those are all unlikely scenarios.”

Thomas lets out a long sigh. “Guys, we’ve already got over an hour of video for this. Backing out now means we’ve wasted a lot of time filming.”

“But what if everyone hates it?” Virgil snaps. “We can’t just-” Virgil takes a deep breath. “I know I’m coming off like the villain here but-” Virgil takes another deep breath and Logan can understand and see that Virgil is beginning to panic. And if Virgil panics, Thomas will panic, which will probably make Patton cry which will frustrate Roman who almost just might cry and _that_ is a chain of events Logan does not want to see carried out.

“I hear your concerns and all of us acknowledge them,” Logan says. “However, posting a video, whether it is or is not perfect, at this point, is vital. It’s been far too long and we must remain on a schedule.”

Virgil takes another deep breath and nods. “Okay. Okay. I just…” He looks at Roman. “I’m sorry, Roman.”

Roman waves a hand in dismissal. “Don’t sweat it, Hot Topic. I’m sorry if we made you feel like a villain.”

Virgil shrugs and looks down. “I guess we should start editing then.”

-8-

That night, Roman barely talks as he slides into bed. There’s no humming of Disney songs as he brushes his teeth. No light teasing from his mouth as he slides into his sweatpants and sweatshirt. Logan doesn’t say a word to him, afraid of saying the wrong thing and perhaps upsetting Roman. Logan lays in bed, stiff, and realises something is really bothering Roman when Roman just curls under the covers, makes no attempt to draw Logan closer and appears to drift off.

Roman’s always the one who tosses an arm around Logan because they have some form of unspoken communication that Logan’s afraid to initiate contact. So Roman does it for him and it’s comforting on most nights. Logan hadn’t ever realised just how comforting it is until it isn’t there and he can’t sleep because something is _wrong_.

In the morning, the sun barely shines through the storm clouds outside making the room feel cold and dark. Roman drags himself out of bed without a word and Logan clenches his hand onto the pillows, trying to muster up the courage to say something.

“Did my comment about pleasing the audience upset you yesterday, Roman?” he asks quietly.

“A little,” Roman admits. “But I’m over it.”

A lump grows in Logan’s throat as he realises Roman is lying to him. “I am… truly sorry for upsetting you. I was only trying to add logic to the situation. Everyone was getting too caught up in their emotions.”

“Yeah. Sorry for my _emotions_. I know those are so _hard_ for you to understand,” Roman says and there’s an edge to the tone; Logan feels like he’s sitting on a piece of driftwood, gripping the pillows so tightly so that he won’t fall off into the water. He’s messing this all up. He’s supposed to soothe Roman, not further anger or upset him.

“I apologise, Roman. I did not mean it that way.”

Roman sighs and then makes his way back over to the bed; he climbs back in and gently grasps Logan’s hands and pries each individual finger from their grip on the pillows. Logan feels insecure, too cut open, and unhelpful. Slowly, Roman runs his thumb over Logan’s knuckles and lets out a long breath.

“I’m sorry. That was mean for me to say that.”

“I… was not offended.” Lie. Why are they lying so much to each other today?

Roman meets his eyes with a disbelieving look. “Okay.”

“We should,” Logan swallows and slowly pulls his fingers from Roman’s grasp, “go have breakfast.”

Roman slowly nods. “Yeah…”

A few minutes pass of them just sitting there in tense silence. “Are we fighting?” Logan finally blurts then feels his face heat up immediately after saying it. He probably sounds completely stupid.

Roman laughs. “No, we’re not; not anymore Promise.” And at least Logan can tell that Roman’s not lying about that because if he had lied, Logan might have fallen apart.

“Okay. I did mean it when I apologised.”

“You really had no reason to; you were just doing your thing, you know? I shouldn’t have got angry about it.”

“You had every right to,” Logan says.

“I’m not angry with you, Specs, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Roman says.

“I am not worried you are angry; I am worried that you are sad.”

“Why would I be sad?” Roman asks.

“You seemed quite… upset with your idea when you presented it in the first place and Virgil’s concerns might have hurt your feelings. Or made you feel… badly. About yourself and your idea.”

Logan can see in the way Roman’s gaze fixes on the wall instead of Logan and how his shoulders tense that Logan’s assumptions were correct.

“It was not a bad idea, Roman,” Logan says.

Roman sniffles and Logan feels his breath catch; Roman’s about to cry. “It really sucked,” Roman says. “It’s such a worthless idea and I shouldn’t have made anyone go through with it.”

“That’s completely illogical,” Logan snaps. “I would have made you aware of it if the idea was badly developed or faulty.”

“The viewers might hate it.”

“I am certain the majority will not.”

“How can you be sure?” Roman asks.

Logan thinks for a moment then reaches for his phone. He pulls open Thomas’ YouTube page and pulls up the video posted late into the night. He does the math in his head, calculating the likes to dislikes ratio then converts the decimal into a percent.

“92.89145%, rounded to about 93% of the viewers who liked or disliked the video enjoyed it enough to press the like button. Of all the viewers, only 76.245%, rounded to about 76%, actually liked or disliked the video. That leaves approximately 24% of viewers who did not vote but it is likely they enjoyed it and just forgot to hit the like button.” Logan lowers the phone. “The numbers don’t lie. The views on this video are already higher than some of his most popular videos. Perhaps you were not satisfied with your idea, Roman, but it was not terrible because a majority enjoyed it enough to like the video.”

Roman stares down to his knees then slowly draws a hand up to his eyes and wipes away the tears. “Nerd,” he chokes out. “God, you’re such a _nerd_.”

“I am… sorry?”

Roman shakes his head. “No. I love you. I love you so _much_ , you ridiculous nerd.” Roman lunges over and wraps his arms tightly around Logan and plants a sloppy kiss on his cheek and Logan denies Roman’s claim of Logan making a squeaking noise of protest similar to that of a baby animal.

“All right, stop that- personal space, please.”

Roman pulls away and smiles, taking Logan’s hands into his own. “I’m sorry for being a downer.”

“Feeling negatively is not something you are at fault for. It is okay to become discouraged.” Logan hesitates. “I… love you whether you’re feeling happy or sad or... however. You know, however you feel.”

Roman squeezes his hands. “I hate almost everything I do,” Roman admits. “Everything, I kind of hate it. I want it to be good and the result is never as good as the initial idea.”

“Logically, nothing can come close to the things you dream up,” Logan says. “You think too big at times.”

“I do, yeah,” Roman says. “Thanks for putting it into perspective for me though. It… helps.”

“I am glad I am able to be of assistance.”

Roman smiles again and Logan doesn’t need the sun to brighten the room because Roman’s smile does that just fine. “We should get breakfast. And maybe… if you want… we can go on an adventure in my dreamscape tonight. Only if you’d like to.”

Roman looks earnest and Logan admits he’s a little frightened of Roman’s dreamscape. It’s off-putting; every bit of it defies logic. However, it can be nice. To escape from reality for a bit. Especially if it’s with Roman. Honestly, Logan thinks of Roman and himself like a balanced chemical equation; with Roman, he feels more stable, less alone, and more put-together. But there’s also the aspect of what they have that lets Logan become undone just a little and Roman won’t mind.

Logan doesn’t know how he’s become so lucky. He doesn’t know why Roman and he manage to complement each other so well despite being near total opposites. He doesn’t know and he is not fond of not knowing but he can accept it as it is. Because he’s happy. Roman’s happy.

“I would… enjoy that, yes.”

Roman beams; Logan’s heart soars.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so grateful for all the support I got on my previous piece to this series! This is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time but feared it was too weird. The world needs a little more queerplatonic Logince and I, though am not the best writer, just really like to provide it. :) I apologise for my frequent posting lately; I haven’t had this much inspiration in a long time.


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